For the first few months of school, I had no real desire to stay after school at all. Once 2:30 hit I was, hopefully, out of there by 3, 3:30 at the latest. Why would I stay after school when all I wanted to do was go home and take a nap? My attitude has changed dramatically. The time I spend after school with my students is some of my most valuable time. If I end the school day on a bad note, I WANT to stay after school because I know the students that stay after with me will brighten my mood. I could have ended the day ready to hit someone, but after spending an hour with these kids I have renewed faith in my job. After school the line between student and teacher is blurred. Not in terms of who is in control and who is the "mature" adult but because we are teaching one another. I learn mountains of information from these kids after school and I am able to teach them blunt and honest life skills. So I would like to write about what my students have taught me....
1) People will never cease to shock you. It might take awhile to break them and get them to open up but once they do, if they do, what they tell you will probably blow you away. I was struggling to get this one boy "D" to write his college application essay. He didn't turn it in and decided to stay after school and I had to continually ask him questions to get him to think about a person or experience that influenced him. FINALLY, he looked up from his paper and said "well....my house got destroyed in Florida and that's why I am up here." Turns out, he house was obliterated by Hurricane Wilma and he witnessed the entire thing from a hurricane shelter. Needless to say, he now has a topic for his essay. But once this little fact spilled we couldn't get him to stop talking. I brought up gangs because I wanted to be "in the know" and not feel like students were ever pulling one over on me. I came to find out that his father is in prison in Florida, both his parents were members of a gang, and he, himself, grew up in the gang in Florida until he moved to Indianapolis. This is a small, skinny, white kid who cannot be any taller than 5'3"...just in case you were wondering.
2) Students at my school are having way too much sex and abstinence-only education is not doing shit for these students. A few days ago one of my pregnant students stayed after school with a few others and we all got to talking about pregnancies in the school. There have been at least half a dozen freshmen who have been pregnant already and those are only the ones I know about. If a girl disappears, for all I know it is just as likely that she is pregnant as she transferred schools. Furthermore, the girls I know about are just freshmen, not the countless upper-classmen who are walking around preggers. Even with all these pregnancies there will not be as many babies born, the majority of these girls have miscarriages. Their bodies are not ready to handle babies, plus they do not know how to take care of themselves and keep their body healthy enough to nourish a fetus. For example, one girl who miscarried ate hot cheetos and sprite for lunch. She could have eaten the food at the school, at least school lunch has to meet some nutritional standards, but she likes junk food. It is times like these that make me so scared for the future of these girls. They just have NO idea....and they are hurting others in the process of making stupid life decisions.
3) The only way you are EVER going to connect with another person or establish any sort of relationship is by being genuine. I learn the most about my students after school simply because I get to let down my teacher personality a little bit. Everything is a little more relaxed. This all became abundantly clear when one of my girls told me "dang Ms. Broome, I didn't know you were this cool, I just thought you gave us a lot of work." This one sentence put everything in perspective for me. Next year I will be a lot more transparent with my students. Now, being genuine should not be confused with being a push-over. Students normally know when they are acting out of line and if they know you genuinely care about them they honestly won't put up too much of a fight when you discipline them. They know they are in the wrong but they are testing you and it is expected that you react in some way. Therefore, next year I will focus on being more strict from the get-go but making it VERY clear to my students that I care about all their successes, failures, and lives, in general.
The stories my students tell me make my life even more enjoyable then it already is. The fact that they WANT to share their lives with me makes me feel incredibly blessed. I think the fact that they feel so comfortable telling me about their lives is because I have told them so much about mine. They know I have a roommate with a dog, a younger brother who is a little bit of a nerd, they met my mom and step-dad, they know about my summer in Atlanta, my travels abroad, etc. The ONLY thing they don't know is my age and it drives them crazy, haha! I have lived a great life thus far and I can use my stories to let my students know that there is a HUGE world out there. I have always said that relationships need to be a two-way street and my after school study groups just reassure me that I am correct in my thinking. I like to think (even though I may be incorrect) that I add something to my students' lives and they add so much to mine. Let's just say we keep one another in check and call it a day :)
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